Day 347: Christmas Means To Me, My Love

Christmas has now arrived, and on the verge of leaving until next year. This Christmas has definitely made it to the top of my list. No, I didn't get some epic gift this year. In fact, I got next to none. It wasn't the gifts of the food this year. It was the family and company that made this holiday season extra special.
I was surrounded by friends and loved ones, and the space was filled with laughter and love. I spent the weekend with my family, and shared many fun and special times with them.
I also got to share some laughter and stories with the man who has my heart. John called me this morning and we were able to spend a few special moments that have happened to us since we've been apart. We talked about how we feel ourselves growing ironically closer together, and stronger as a couple, and how special this time is for the both of us. During that hour of hearing his voice, over and over again it was confirmed that HE is who I was meant to share my life with and HE is the reason I have gone through every experience I've ever had. And I thank God for the circumstances that brought us together. If we hadn't both endured our heartache and hardships, we might not have ever found such a strong connection or would have been ready for such a strong connection.
John is doing wonderfully and has really taken to the people and the lifestyle. He has grown SO much spiritually and I am grateful for that. He was already a spiritual powerhouse prior to the mission, but he gave me some amazing words of enlightenment that I know would not have been possible but for his mission. His unwavering faith, no, knowledge of the mercifulness of our Father is astounding. He knows with a surety of future blessings and is such an example to me of that. I love this man with all of my heart, and can't wait til NEXT Christmas when he will be returning home 2 days after the holiday.
Merry Christmas to all of you, and I wish you all the happiest of times. Cherish your loved ones, no matter how far they are.

Day 340: Cheese and Crackers

Christmas is a week away... 7 days. That's it. And surprisingly, I haven't wanted to murder my heart yet. I'm fine. I'm pretty happy. I'm not depressed. It's a Christmas miracle. I think it's because the year mark is descending on me very very quickly here. HOORAY!!! One more year until he is back home and this blog can become more fun! LOL.

Last weekend, I had the opportunity to cut my Grammie'

s hair. In the middle of her haircut, she kept asking me all about John. So I told her the whole story of how we met and how we came to be. She was thrilled, and so was I (seeing as I got to talk about John). :) She loved our story (so do I), thought it was romantic (so do I), and couldn't wait to ask a billion more questions about him. What's his plan for himself? What does he like most about his mission? What are your plans with him in the future? Yada, yada, yada. But then she asked me one question that I was kinda stumped at. "What do you love MOST about him?" Annnnnnnd there I stood, not knowing how to answer exactly. And that got me thinking about writing yet another list. So as I sat in my living room listening to the rain and a 90's film, I started thinking. What DO I love most about him? CAN I name just one thing? The answer is of course no, and I ended up with a rather long list. Annnd this is where I post said list. Bring out the crackers, 'cause here comes the cheese.

What Do I Love Most About John?

-The sound of his laugh

-His crinkle smile

-The way he opens his eyes REALLY big when emphasizing something

-His selflessness

-He loves LOVES kids

-He shows everyone around him so much respect

-The way he moved his CTR ring to his other hand because it hurt me when he held my hand

-How he started calling me "Jesse" and I didn't mind

-The way he ALWAYS wanted to rub my feet

-How he would always pick up the towel and help with the

dishes without being asked

-He's not ashamed of his crazy girlfriend

-He tells me constantly how much he cares for me

-How he didn't mind when I would fall asleep on the phone every night

-He's motivated

-He's hardworking

-He loves me for ME, and not just what I could become

-He makes me want to be better

-His dream of a perfect Saturday (even the realistic one)

-His dedication

-How he stuck around for so long

-His musical talent

-He fits every point on the list of what I want in a husband

-He loves God first

He's charming

He knows how to cheer me up

-He wants to take care of me

-He'll sit and listen to a crying girl, and love her all the more for it

-He is so willing to help me

-He's always on my mind

So I can't choose only one, but if I had to say only ONE item I loved more than the rest, I would have to say that I love his dedication to God. He is so dedicated to Him and His cause, that he gave up 2 years of his life at home with me. And THAT is what draws me to him continuously.

Day 327: Sharing Creativity

Fun story. John loves bubbles. Especially on his mission. So I sent him some, and he says he comes home after a hard day and just blows bubbles to relieve stress. So one day, he comes home, throws his stuff on his bed, and grabs the bubbles. His companion steals his camera and captures it. And here is the edited version of one of the pictures. LOL.

Also, I began recording and posting my songs to YouTube, so I thought I would post on here as well.. If I can get it to work...

Day 327: I Choose Excitement

ALRIGHT FOLKS!! We are nearing that coveted year mark! I received some EXCITING/disheartening news last week!! John's release date is in the middle of transfers. And since he can't leave mid transfer, he has two options!!! He can either come home 3 WEEKS EARLY, putting him home in my arms on Dec 27 2011 (TWENTY-ELEVEN!!), orrrr.... 3 weeks later on Feb 8 2012. Ultimately, I think it's up to the mission President, but from talking to a few RM friends, they said that most time the President leaves it up to the missionary. So, I have yet to find out what John would choose to do, but I'll update once I hear what is gonna happen. When I have told some people the happy news, mostly their response is "Why are you so excited? He could be coming home later..." and MY reply is "I choose excitement." :) Because even if he were to choose to stay later, though I'd be a little bummed, I'd be happy because he loved his mission that much. And because really, whats 3 weeks more? But obviously, 3 weeks LESS is much easier to swallow. ;)

Picture time!!!

Just look at this cutie-pie. :) Who wouldn't want him home 3 weeks earlier?

19 days til the Christmas phone call!!! AND! If he comes home December next year, I'll get to talk to him 2 DAYS before he comes back!!!! Awesome!

Day 319: Holiday Happiness

The holidays are gonna be amazing. Seriously.

I am so in love with the holiday season, and it all starts with Halloween. Halloween is a fun holiday, and one that I spend getting a little dressed up, watching the kiddies gather candy, and going to parties and the like. I always like to look at the little families who dress in costume themes. This year, I saw a Star Wars family. It was adorable. Complete with an R2D2 baby, Luke and Leah brother and sister, and a Hans Solo mom and Chewie dad. SUPER CUTE. And while I try not to make everything about a family, I just loved to watch them and imagine what costume themes I would come up with in my future family. It makes me smile and I enjoy the happy thoughts, so I let it happen. LOL.

Thanksgiving is a day typically filled with mountains of food and dessert, and is looked forward to by brothers of mine for the reason of being able to go back for 5ths and 6ths. Of course, who doesn't enjoy eating lots and lots of amazing food! I certainly do lol. But this year, I was more excited about being with my family. This is my first holiday season being out on my own. And I love my family and have found a new friendship that I get to enjoy with them. :) So this year, as I was sitting in our family car driving over the river and through the woods to my aunt's house, I was filled with so much love and peace and thankfulness. I had a great day enjoying all my family's company, and to be honest, I wasn't even sad that day! Sure, I kept thinking about how much fun it will be when John is able to join us on these big family gatherings, but I was happy and content being WHEN I was instead of 2 years in the future. So that was a big thing for me :)

CHRISTMAS is 27 days away.... Can you believe it?!!? AND last night after play practice (blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...... ) Roomie and I went to Jo-Ann's to buy some Christmasy things for a little home, and I bought a big girl Christmas decoration!!!! A TREE!! :-O!! It's only 4 feet tall, but perfect size for our humble apartment. And that little 4 foot contraption of lights and fake pine unleashed the Christmas monster for the season. The rest of the night was full of squeals and giggleing and "fa-la-la-la"ing, much to the EXCITMENT of my friends. ;)

All in all... I'm in the mood for some holidays. :) YAY!!!!

Day 306: Warning ... This Is Pathetic.

So I felt like blogging when I woke up, I felt like blogging during sacrament, I felt like blogging when I came home, I felt like blogging 10 minutes ago, but I do NOT feel like blogging now that I am actually sitting here TO blog. Wah. Oh well. I will say what I wanted to say all day.

For a few days now I have been hoping to have a dream about John. Pathetic? Yes. But I don't care. I just wanted to see him and interact with him for a little while. How sad is it that I really looked forward to going to sleep just in the hopes that I would see him? Wow... LOL.

Okay no one should follow me as a blogger anymore... lol. So anyways... Lo and behold, last night it happened. I was watching some videos on his SD card and fell asleep, and he was there!! I won't describe the dream (even though I really want to... lol) because then I would sound like freaking Depresso Bella when she does crazy things just to hear Edward's voice. But it was very possibly the best dream I have ever ever ever had. And then of course every dream ends, and I had to wake up. SAAAAAAAAD DAY ALLLLLLLLL DAY FOR REALS. The moment I woke up, I just laid there trying to remember everything that happened. But man, for those few hours I was asleep, I was so happy to have him back. :)

Did this dream make it super hard to go on with my day? Um.. THAT would be an understatement. Today, it seriously took all I had not to arrange a trip to Concord, CA. It has taken everything in my to not write him and tell him I need him. But this is my life lately. What else can I do but live it for the next 429 days? Nothing. Oh well.

Look. I'm sorry that these posts are super whiny. But when I can't verbally express them, I have to somehow. And sometimes its just nice to type and not have someone talk to me about it and tell me how I need to suck it up or get over it. Screw that. I'd rather say what I need to on a blog that I set up specifically for this purpose; to type it out so I don't vomit sadness all day. So I apologize. If anyone knows of a way to make certain posts private, let me know please. That way I can use that feature more often. LOL.

All in all...... 429 more days of waking up with the crushing feeling of WAKING up. That's a little more than half... It's do-able.

Day 302: Black Holes and Revelations

I MISSED DAY 300!!!! AGGG! I need to be on top of this.... 54 DAYS UNTIL THE HALF WAY MARK!!! YAYYY!! Now moving on to my real topic...

My life's moments are separated into two categories: Black Holes and Revelations, thus the title. Black Holes are obvious. They are a waste of time and energy, are marked by futile attempts to STOP thinking about how much of a Black Hole it is, have negative repercussions to my minds willpower, and they suck every ounce of hope I had in me at that moment. Revelations can only be the opposite, and are good moments that usually lead to a learning opportunity. They are moments that lead me to realize full potential of myself or of my surroundings, are spiritual glimmers given at the perfect space in time, and have a MUCH longer lasting effect than my Black Hole moments. Now SOMETIMES, moments may fall into the Venn Diagram area of these two categories, and can be both Black Holes AND a Revelation. THOSE moments, are ones that are much less than pleasant, but also I receive a firm witness that it happened for my benefit. Moments may not move into the Venn area until later in time, thus being TRUE life lessons. Now why did I go through and explain my now-dead analogy? Because yesterday, I had 2 moments that fit into each different category, which rarely happens for me, so I wanted you all to understand how cool that was. LOL. And as much as I just set up that analogy ever so nicely, I am not going to be sharing those moments with you, because they are so sacred to me and are extremely personal. But I just wanted to share that they happened. And that because they happened, I had a great day 2 days in a row. :) Viva la vi.

One more thing before I go...... This man is amazing. The end. :) :) :)